When the world feels like it’s spiraling into chaos (figuratively… or literally), many of us retreat into comforting routines and familiar rhythms. And for some, that comfort looks like building the perfect cottagecore island in Animal Crossing or crafting a dream life in The Sims.
But why are these games so appealing, especially during times of collective stress, uncertainty, or upheaval?
The answer lies in one core human need: control.
The Psychology of Control (and Why We Crave It)
As humans, we’re wired to seek patterns, routines, and a sense of agency. When life hands us unpredictability—like global pandemics, climate anxiety, political chaos, or personal upheaval—our nervous systems go into overdrive.
This is especially true for folks with
• Anxiety disorders
• Trauma histories
• Neurodivergence
• Or simply anyone feeling burned out and powerless
When external control is limited, we often turn to internal coping tools to create balance. And sometimes, those tools are virtual.
Why Animal Crossing and The Sims Just… Work
- Predictable Systems = Calm Brains
In Animal Crossing, you know exactly what to expect each day: shake some trees, talk to your neighbors, pay off that pesky loan to Tom Nook. There’s comfort in that rhythm.
In The Sims, you set the goals: raise a family, build your dream house, become a vampire. The game follows your lead, not the other way around.
This predictability calms the part of the brain (the amygdala) that’s scanning for threats. It’s like telling your nervous system, “We’re safe. We know what’s coming.”
- Creative Autonomy Boosts Self-Worth
Both games give you full creative license. You’re the architect of your environment, your relationships, your routine.
For folks feeling stuck in jobs, relationships, or systems that don’t reflect their values or identity, this can be incredibly validating.
“In this world, I can build something that reflects who I am—and I’m in charge.”
- Control Without Real-World Consequences
Mess up in real life? There’s fallout.
Mess up in The Sims? Worst case, a sim catches on fire and you restart.
It’s low-stakes. Low-pressure (though it may require some deep breathing or a break to come back and try again). That lack of consequence gives our brains space to play, something we rarely feel permission to do as adults.
- Sensory and Social Regulation
The cozy music in Animal Crossing. The satisfying click of Sims building blocks. These sensory experiences provide grounding and distraction—two powerful tools for regulating anxiety.
And for those who struggle with real-world social interaction (especially neurodivergent or anxious folks), these games offer social simulation in a way that’s safe and manageable.
Escapism Is Not Avoidance—It’s a Strategy
Escaping into a game world doesn’t mean you’re ignoring your problems. It means you’re giving your brain and body the reset they need to come back to reality with more bandwidth.
In therapy, we often talk about “distress tolerance”—ways to get through tough emotions without spiraling. Cozy games are an excellent tool for that.
Games Can’t Fix Everything—But They Can Help
Of course, a virtual garden won’t make your burnout disappear. And designing the perfect sim won’t process your grief. But these small acts of agency matter.
They remind you:
• You do have creative power
• You can make choices
• You are allowed joy, softness, and plaIn a world that often makes us feel small, these games gently whisper: You’re still in charge of your story.
Want to talk more about how play, control, and creativity fit into your mental health journey? I’m a therapist who works with gamers, creatives, and folks trying to find themselves in a chaotic world—and I’d love to connect.
Amber Legault LMFT 