The stages of grief are identified by Kübler-Ross as; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. These stages do not have to be processed in a linear fashion, nor do we have to hit every stage. Grief is different from person to person, and it does not mean that someone in your life has to have passed away. Grieving can be associated with grieving the loss of a relationship, romantic or a friendship. That person can still be breathing, but if they are no longer part of your day to day, no longer able to be called upon, this can still be processed as grief.
So, what am I supposed to grieve over? Another event that could be grieved are loss of a job, career, or situations with school. These can be categorized as grief due to the way the body and mind responds to the loss of that piece of our life. If someone were to lose a job that they have been working in for 10 plus years, the adjustment to live without that job, could parallel to the process of someone adjusting without a loved one. This person might just think they are depressed, and seek out their doctor for medication. When this does not work the person might then become frustrated, this could be because they are not processing the grief they have over their loss.
This is not to say that we all grieve the same. Some might bounce back from a job loss quickly, efficiently, and not need much time to adjust. Whereas some may need more time, and that is the key. There is no time line, no right or wrong, no strict way that we as individuals need to grieve. It is a process that our minds and bodies need to go through to adjust to life without that person, job, career, relationship, or pet.
It is important to be sure that we talk to others when we have a loss in our lives. Whether that be a friend, family member, or therapist. Grieving can be done in many different ways, such as; telling that person’s legacy, sharing your strengths that complimented that job, or discussing our emotional attachment to unanswered question that we might not be able to get the answer to. Grieving can be a lonely road, and it does not have to be a road that one travels alone.
Amber Legault LMFT 